How To Be Happy For Friends

There has been quite a bit of change in our lives over the course of the past few years - engagements, babies, moves, weddings, new jobs.....the list goes on.  What never ceases to amaze me is that even in the happiest of moments, we manage to find a negative in the situation.  Are we so conditioned to question everything that we struggle to exude sincere happiness? 

When I say negative, I do not mean envious or cold-hearted.  I am more so referring to the "what if" factor.  For example:

Friend 1 just took a new job!  Friend 2 is so excited for Friend 1, but is also concerned that Friend 1 will get bored very easily and will later regret leaving the previous position.

OR

Friend 1 just got engaged!  Friend 2 is honored to be standing in the wedding, but is also worried that Friend 1 is moving too quickly.  They have only been dating for 8 months!

OR

Friend 1 just bought a new house!  Friend 2 is thrilled for Friend 1, but wonders how they were able to afford such an elaborate purchase?  Friend 2 really hopes they are saving for their future!


...you get the idea. 


Perhaps negative is not the correct word to describe these feelings?  Concern of well being is probably a more fitting reflection, I suppose.  Either way, it feels as if the manner in which we have evolved makes it increasingly more difficult for us to express and feel genuine happiness for others.  It is almost never that we are jealous or unhappy or that we disagree with the decision, but rather the nature in which we worry and question what is right clouds our ability to see the bigger picture. 

In life, there is no "right way" of doing things.  This is a key element we fail to remember from time to time.  It is important for us to keep in mind that we require different approaches and interpretations to make us who we are at our core - unique individuals.  If we went through life making the exact same choices as the next guy, where would that leave us?  Better yet, if we simply concerned ourselves with what others thought of our choices and decisions, where would that leave us? 

I admire anyone who can confidently make a life altering decision.  For it takes some real balls to be so secure in yourself that you are capable of doing so.  That is the type of person I want to be.  That is the way I want to live my life - secure in who I am, confident in my own actions and, above all, fearless.  Fearless in what others may think of me, fearless in having the knowledge that every decision may not always turn out to be the right one, fearless in my ability to take on any obstacles that may present themselves and fearless in living my life to the fullest.

Live and be fearless...

I think we could all afford to hit the reset button when we find ourselves judging the choices of others - and I am just as guilty as anyone.  It is so easy to get distracted by the stresses of the daily grind and forget what you actually stand for.  Next time you feel like expressing concern for others' well being, take a quick step back and, instead, express happiness.  If for nothing else, be happy that you have surrounded yourself with the type of individuals who are so strong willed - they will only make you stronger.  Be happy that your friends know who they are - they will only make you more confident in yourself.  Be happy that your friends are making efforts to be the people they always hoped to become - they will always support you in your own continued growth.  Just be happy.

While questioning and thinking through our own actions is almost never a negative, we should be sure to keep it to just that - ourselves.  Just do you and let others do themselves.  Life is far too short to lack the ability to celebrate others - who knows, the next celebration may even be your own?!  My guess is that you, too, are going to want some genuinely happy friends in your corner when the time comes!