Are You Afraid of the Dark?

No, I am not referring to the awesome SNICK TV show from the 90's that we all know and love.  What I speak of is the sad reality that I am a 28 year old woman who is still suffering from a fear of the night.  While I am not actually afraid of the dark itself, it is more so the things that have the potential to "appear" in the night - ya know, your standard issue burglars, serial killers, ghosts, vampires....  Submitted for the approval of The Midnight Society, I call this story....The Tale of the Sleepless Nights.

I certainly never did myself any favors in attempting to kick this fear at an early age.  Growing up, I was required to read quite a bit in school (plus who did not want the free personal pan pizzas through Book It!?) and while I did read a lot of The Baby Sitter's Club series, my focus was almost exclusively placed on the then-relevant horror books.  In elementary school it was R.L. Stine's, Goosebumps series, then I grew into the "big kid" series like Fear Street, Christopher Pike (specifically The Last Vampire series - I was totally into vampires before Twilight was cool) and throw in an occasional Nancy Drew mystery while we are at it. 

I seriously should have been a detective or something - career change?!

What is most interesting about my love for these thrillers, however, is that I almost always did the bulk of my reading at night, right before bed, and my bedroom was connected to the attic - which I was convinced was filled with ghosts.  Genius.  To this day, I do this to myself.  Reading books like The Girl Who Played With Fire right before I go to sleep and then toss and turn all night, all the while wondering why?

You also may have noticed I included ghosts as a potential night terror.  Without delving too much into the details, I was "visited" in dreams on two separate occasions by two different friends who had been gone for quite some time.  The entire basis of each of the two dreams was that I was fully aware they were dead, and so were they, but they were just there.  Hanging out with me like it was a normal day. 

I realize the underlying insanity within the information I have just disclosed; however, it is because of this reason that I am terrified of experiencing a real life run-in with a ghost.  And to be honest, I have no idea why?  Both dreams were pleasant and it was good to "see" my friends again, but the thought of being "haunted" - even in a nice way - sends me right into a state of panic.  Or maybe in my dreams everything is still just that - a dream.  Whereas a real life encounter would also make it just that - real.  Perhaps, after all this time, I am still not ready to let go?

No matter how I attempt to explain this to myself, it is quite evident that I have not learned my lesson - when you read scary books before bed time, it will result in a sub-par sleeping situation at best.  Maybe once I am in my 30's I will be wiser?  Until then....I declare this meeting of The Midnight Society closed.