This Is The Voice

As showcased last week, it is no secret that Tom and I are both battling two relatively severe cases of A.D.D..  Please consider this your warning for the sporadic thoughts you may encounter below.  Without further adieu, I give you the recap of the live performances from last night's episode of The Voice:

Tom (7:00pm): Let the games begin!

Ali (7:01pm): At least Adam is starting to look hot again.  It was touch and go there for a minute.

Tom (7:05pm): Is Christina wearing a crown?  Looks like queen of the clown whores.

Ali (7:06pm): I know, man.  She was looking so fierce there for a couple of weeks.  Now she's looking borderline trashy again.

Tom (7:06pm): CeeLo's shirt!?!

Tom (7:06pm): Borderline?  Quit being so generous.

Ali (7:07pm):  Fine, she looks like a full blown tranny.  Happy?

Tom (7:07pm): Atta girl.

Ali (7:08pm): I am still like "whatever" with Tony.  I think he is OK, but....kinda boring.

Tom (7:09pm): Tony's son looks like Winona Ryder.

Ali (7:10pm): This is like a broke ass Robert Palmer, Addicted to Love wannabe.  Not feeling it.

Tom (7:11pm): Very true - he is very one dimensional, doesn't seem to have the vocals to take his performance to the next level.

Tom (7:12pm): I can't believe Blake said Robert Palmer.

Ali (7:13pm): Haha.  I should be a judge.  Or at least the host.  I'd be way better than Carson Daly.

Tom (7:15pm): You would kill it as a host.  I could replace Milian.

Ali (7:16pm):  I honestly cannot believe everyone liked that performance that much.  Did I just not get it?  I thought it was so lame.

Tom (7:19pm): This acoustic Guetta is gonna melt my face off.

Ali (7:19pm): Is she about to bust out some club music?!

Ali (7:19pm):  Haha.  I knew you would love it.

Ali (7:20pm):  I'm not gonna lie.  I am not really loving it.

Tom (7:21pm):  It's working in certain parts, but my face it still intact.

Tom (7:22pm):  Unsubscribe.

Ali (7:23pm):  Ugh, I know.  I wanted her to slay that.  I like her.  But she didn't.

Tom (7:23pm):  Maybe she was nervous because she was singing it to her dad?  I think that's why.

Ali (7:25pm): Yea, could be.

Ali (7:26pm): I think CeeLo is gonna be the team to beat. 

Ali (7:26pm): Xtina's team is straight up garbage.

Ali (7:26pm): I don't even want to listen to this guy - he's like nails on a chalkboard for me.

Tom (7:28pm): I can't stand him - my mom is a huge fan.  But then again my mom melted her Il Divo CD in her car.

Ali (7:29pm):  Is it bad I want to see Battleship?

Ali (7:29pm): I love Tim Riggins.

Ali (7:29pm): Ahhhhhhh.  Make it stop!!!!!!!  This isn't an f'ing wedding or a funeral.  NEXT.

Tom (7:30pm): Navy is our client, there's promo all over the office.  I'm pumped.

Tom (7:30pm):  But why does the move look like it's directed by Michael Bay?  Looks all transformers n shit.

Tom (7:30pm):  His "wife" looks like a woodland elf.

Ali (7:31pm): Haha.  She IS miniature.

Ali (7:32pm): 10 bucks - he will cry.  He will be "moved to tears by the music"

Ali (7:32pm):  He knows exactly how to work this.

Tom (7:32pm):  That's an easy 10 bucks.

Ali (7:33pm):  We might be wrong.  Dammit!

Tom (7:33pm):  He looks possessed when he sings, or receiving his first WS.

Ali (7:34pm):  Hahaha.  It's terrible that I knew immediately what WS meant.  I mean - yes, the guy can sing.  I'm just over it.  If he was more likable I'd be into it, but he's like cocky and kinda blah!

Tom (7:35pm):  Haha #codewords

Ali (7:36pm): I dig Jamar.

Ali (7:36pm): And LOOOOOOOOOOOVE Juliet.

Tom (7:36pm): He's got the older crowd locked up though.

Ali (7:37pm):  True.  Hope the Pope is watching.

Tom (7:37pm):  Can't subscribe to Jamar, I want Juliet to sweep.

Ali (7:38pm): Oh c'mon.  Do you not have a heart, dude has HIV!  He can't afford to make it disappear like Magic did.

Tom (7:38pm): He's prob DVRing it.  It's the middle of the night in Shitaly.

Ali (7:39pm):  Oh, I'm sorry - Eli Manning is hosting SNL?!

Ali (7:39pm): Milian has so many weaves.  Her hair is different colors every night.

Tom (7:39pm): Way to pick the ONE athlete that is a socially inept.

Tom (7:40pm): I get it I get it, everyone has a story on this show.  Sick parents, homelessness, it comes down to talent and he seems too Travie McCoy.

Ali (7:40pm):  You mean stellar musician who was boning Katy Perry before she WAS Katy Perry?  I don't mind Travie.  Ha.

Ali (7:42pm):  I can totally see you doing this same version of the song at a stand-up comedy show.

Tom (7:43pm):  C'mon, you can't add a church choir and not expect me to jump on board.

Ali (7:43pm):  You're such a sucker for God.

Tom (7:43pm):  I wouldn't mind a purple penguin tail coat.

Tom (7:44pm): It adds so much to the song #preach

Ali (7:44pm):  What the hell are you going to do with a purple penguin tail coat?  Please, enlighten me.

Ali (7:45pm): OK, so I didn't HATE it.  But I think he's done better in other performances.

Tom (7:45pm):  I could be Willy Wonka the next year?

Ali (7:45pm):  I do like that he totally remixed it.

Ali (7:45pm): Or The Joker.

Ali (7:46pm): He's so hype.

Tom (7:46pm):  Why does Christina feel the need to repeat performances.  Whatta kooooooook.

Tom (7:47pm): See, many uses.

Ali (7:47pm):  I really would like a shirt with a picture of Bailey in the shape of a heart.

Ali (7:49pm): Um, Escape Routes looks like a good time.

Tom (7:51pm): It looks legit, but why is it on Saturday's.

Ali (7:52pm): The Killers are getting mad love this season and I am LOVING it.

Tom (7:53pm):  Couldn't agree more.  They need to comeback already.

Ali (7:53pm):  Love them.  Best concert I've ever been to.

Ali (7:54pm):  Juliet and Jamar are slaying it.

Ali (7:55pm):  I want Jamar's hats.  All of them.

Tom (7:55pm): Yup.  This song is too rock for Katrina.

Tom (7:56pm): Haha easy deezy on the caps.

Ali (8:00pm): JOURNEY!  Odd choice, but I'm not hating it.

Tom (8:01pm):  This is one of my favorite songs.

Ali (8:02pm):  I think he will get voted through before Erin.  He's come on strong these past couple of weeks.

Tom (8:03pm): I was hoping for a church choir when that stage opened.  I'd agree with that.

Ali (8:03pm): Yikes, that note did not quite get there.

Ali (8:05pm):  I don't know how CeeLo keeps track of all his favorite songs.  He has about 100 of them.

Tom (8:06pm): He's a jolly fellow, everything is his favorite.

Tom (8:06pm):  I get pissed when the judges say, "I'm unfamiliar with that song"

Ali (8:06pm):  What are the odds that Jermaine Paul has or is cheating on his wife you think?  I mean....he tours with A. Keys.  Just sayin'.

Tom (8:08pm):  I'm sure he has a couple Betty's on the side.

Tom (8:08pm): These fucking Magnum commercials make me drool on myself.

Tom (8:10pm): They have mint and mocha flavors now, way to kick it up a notch.

Ali (8:10pm): I've never had one in America.  I reserve those delicacies for my overseas adventures.

Tom (8:11pm): Don't limit yourself.  They are good in any country.

Ali (8:12pm): Oh, I am sorry, Adam.  Lauryn Hill is your favorite?!  She is also a racist.

Tom (8:12pm):  If she torches this song, I am going to go start my car with the garage door closed.

Ali (8:12pm):  Hahaha - Why?!  I bet she nails it.

Tom (8:13pm):  Lauryn Hill also said her music isn't for white people.

Ali (8:13pm): Hence my racist comment.

Tom (8:13pm):  Did she have gastric bypass surgery?  She looks nothing like the beginning.

Ali (8:13pm): It's the hair.  And a good pair of Spanx.

Ali (8:14pm): And that's definitely a wig.  She totally killed it, but it was exactly like The Fugees.

Tom (8:15pm): Haha maybe she uses Luxe.

Tom (8:16pm): Christina is so passive aggressive.

Ali (8:17pm): Why is she always hatin' on that Mouseketeer?!

Ali (8:17pm): THANK YOU, CeeLo.  I was wondering if someone was going to give credit where credit was due.  Lauryn Hill remade that song, dumbasses.

Ali (8:17pm): #ripamy

Tom (8:18pm):  Who knows....She should be helping her former costar, she knocks him down a notch every show.

Tom (8:19pm):  How can you compare Lauryn Hill and Amy Winehouse?  Completely diff people in my book.

Ali (8:19pm):  No doubt.  OK, I have to call B really quickly.  I may be delayed in my commentary.

Ali (8:19pm): WTF?  Owen Wilson for Hertz VO?

Tom (8:20pm):  He's been doing those for awhile I think, strange.

Ali (8:37pm): Alright I'm back in action.

Ali (8:38pm): Um, I love Blake but I cannot deal with this.  I am fast forwarding.

Tom (8:38pm):  His performance?  Skip it.  Pavao is hypnotic.

Ali (8:40pm):  I am on her right now.  She sings like she has shit in her mouth.  I cannot understand anything.  That being said, this is easily her best performance thus far.

Tom (8:42pm): I didn't know the song, but I enjoyed it.

Ali (8:45pm): How much are you loving this Gaga cover?

Tom (8:46pm):  Can't get into it - the jean jackets are distracting me.  Wasn't a good song choice for that group.  The beat was too fast, they do well in slower tempo songs.

Ali (8:47pm):  Jermaine was good.  Erin, OK.  I'm back live BTW.  Ready for my girl to nail it.

Tom (8:48pm): He needs to stop belting, his voice cracks.

Tom (8:49pm):  These Jared commercials make me want to drive heave on myself.

Ali (8:49pm):  I was JUST typing that. 

Ali (8:50pm):  In so many words or less.  I mean who is gonna propose on a plane?  Honestly.  Worst idea ever.

Ali (8:51pm):  She is gonna KILL this.

Tom (8:52pm): What if she says no?  Your trip is fucked and that shits non-refundable.  Nobody buys that optional insurance.

Tom (8:53pm):  She's the only one I don't mind tears from, you can tell she's had a rough path.

Tom (8:53pm):  Holy shoulder pads #shitson

Ali (8:54pm): I love her.

Tom (8:55pm):  She performs like it's her last chance, every time.

Ali (8:55pm):  She's the best for me - overall.  Voice, style, stage presence.  Love it.

Tom (8:56pm):  Agreed.  She gets my vote.  And yes I vote, deal with it.

Ali (8:57pm):  Typical Xtina.  When IIIIIII did this song at The Grammy's.  Haha.

Ali (8:59pm):  Overall the song choices sucked tonight.  Aside from Juliet.

Ali (9:00pm):  Kid Cudi tomorrow?  Yes, please.

Tom (9:00pm): Agree on the song choices.  Cyndi Lauper?  What the F is she gonna do?

Ali (9:01pm):  Maybe sing with Javier?  I mean, his claim to fame WAS Time After Time last year.

Tom (9:01pm):  Good call - that's gotta be it.

Tom (9:03pm): Just voted - of my 10 votes: 6 to Juliet, 2 to Katrina and 2 to Erin.

Ali (9:04pm):  I'm gonna use all 10 for Juliet!

Tom (9:05pm):  I used to use my work phone for call in voting.  Sorry, I'm not sorry.


So, this week's highlights:

• Overall, the song choices were not as up to snuff as they should have been for this stage of the competition (in our opinion). 
• The quality of singing, however, has really gone to the next level, and that is generating some real excitement as we near the finale.

• We both want to see Battleship.

• We are both adamantly against in flight proposals.

• Juliet Simms is the one to beat and #1 in our hearts!

• Tom has been stealing using minutes via his work telephone to vote.

Be sure to show your support for your favorites - unless your favorite happens to not be Juliet.  In which case, we could do without your votes.  Remember to tune in tonight for the results show to see what the hell Cyndi Lauper is up to these days who will be going on to the finale!